How decrease my Suffering
“The world is full of suffering. She is also full of overcoming
You've probably all heard the saying “Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional.
For many years I didn't understand the difference between pain and suffering. is that they are inseparable and I have assumed that one is an inevitable consequence of the other. But
as I realized my ability to create happiness, I noticed something interesting about the nature of my suffering. When
I think about painful episodes in my life, I remember the loss of people dear to me. I remember the sudden changes in work, home, and other occasions that I felt were the foundation of my happiness. In
Each of these experiences, the immediate inner pain burned like a hot knife, piercing my heart. Then came the grief, the emotional response to the loss that came naturally. But
right after the physical pain and emotional grief comes something else, something that I create in my own mind, even if it seems very r. Really. That something else "suffers".
As a friend of mine once said, it's like putting butter on whipped cream. Suffering is the "more" that our mind adds to an already painful situation.
Just when your mind starts playing with pain and sadness, you have an opportunity to do things differently.
If you're in the midst of great pain right now, it can help to know that an old adage is really true: Even though pain is inevitable—that's the price of a hearted person—there are ways to ease it. the kind of suffering you created yourself.
Over the years, with the advice of wise friends and my own meditation practice, I have developed six tactics that have helped reduce this type of suffering. I hope they are useful to you too.
1. Don't twist your story.
Spin Doctors are the media maestros who take the event and twist it for their political ends. We often do something similar in our emotional life, even if we are not aware that it is not really serving us.
The starting point is the painful experience itself. We then tell ourselves all sorts of stories about what that might mean, based on our past experiences or future fears.
When we tell ourselves that the end of a relationship will ruin the rest of our lives, or that no one else will be able to understand what we are experiencing, or that there is no way out of our pain, we are adding layers, which means that this is the case does not exist in the original feeling. None of these things we can know for sure.
It is a clear source of suffering.
Mindfulness meditation can be a very effective way to work with our mind's usual tendency to tell a story.
When we see how we perceive our thoughts and feelings for what they are, and silently pause while you engage in making up a story about them, we can begin to break free from these tendencies.
2. Accept the change.
In the midst of difficult situations, I would sometimes tell myself in a very somber way, "My life will never be the same again. Then I realized how simplistic that statement is – or at least how misleading it is to think of change only in negative terms.
The claim that our life will never be the same again is not wrong. In fact, every moment is real! Change always happens. Sometimes the changes are for the better, sometimes painful. But we can never know the end result of the change.
What may seem terrible today may in the long run be just what we need to move on to the next phase of our lives. When we learn to embrace change, rather than equipping ourselves with it, we will find an alternative that is inseparable from the situation.
Smile even if you don't feel it inside.
Thich Nhat Hanh once said, "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, and sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." This is a wonderful reminder that we have more power to change our mood than we realize .
Finding something as simple as a smile within ourselves, even when life hurts, can help us tap into this deep source of joy. It may seem forced at first, but look at what happens to your state of mind when you practice smiling. And notice how people react differently when he smiles at them.
These types of positive feedback can make a huge difference in overcoming your own suffering rather than taking root in it.
4. Get out of your usual routine.
Sometimes there is suffering because we end up in a dead end. We are worried about our loss and can think of nothing else.
In such moments it helps to strengthen our psyche and soul if we do something that we normally wouldn't do.
Maybe it's time to embark on the trip to Europe you've been dreaming of. Maybe it's time to enroll in that yoga class you've been thinking of. Maybe it's time to say a kind word to a stranger you meet on the sidewalk.
Whatever can get you off your pulse, try to see how it changes the nature of your suffering.
5. Ease someone else's pain.
When we feel pain, we easily isolate ourselves, thinking that no one hurts more than we do.
Although the pain you feel is unique to you, it's good to remember that all humans share the capacity for both pleasure and pain. Connecting with someone who is also going through difficult times and offering them simple kindness can be a good antidote to our suffering.
Bring flowers for an elderly aunt in a nursing home and take the time to listen to her stories. Look the homeless man in the eye as you walk down the street and say a kind word. Volunteer on the children's floor at your local hospital and play with the children in the pond.
You may not be ready for it right away. But as you go through the acute phase of the painful experience, try to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little to spend time with someone else who is having a hard time. Offer that person simple kindness. And see what's going on inside you.
6. Remember your basic goodness.
"Basic goodness" is a wonderful concept that comes from the Buddhist tradition of Shambhala. It reminds us that no matter how chaotic or negative our living conditions are, there is a foundation of fundamental goodness within ourselves and in the universe that we can trust.
Tibetan Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche put it this way:
“If we are willing to look impartially, we will find that despite all your troubles and confusions, all our emotional and psychological ups and downs, there is something fundamentally good. Our existence as human beings.
You are in deep pain, allow yourself to return to that truth - or at least to the possibilities with that truth. You can do it in a very simple way. Go for a walk and enjoy the warmth of the sun on your face. Take a sip of fresh, cold
water. Each of these fundamental truths is deeply healing and deeply calming
. It is good to remember that if there is self-created suffering, there is also self-created happiness. Let him do something for himself during the day!
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